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Unbreakable You: Expert Tips for Building Resilience

Life, both in our careers and personal journeys, is rarely a straight path. We inevitably encounter unforeseen challenges and navigate the consequences of our choices. In these moments, our ability to not just weather the storm, but to emerge stronger, hinges on a critical quality: resilience. Have you ever observed how some individuals seem to thrive amidst adversity, while others falter? To understand this difference, it's essential to define what resilience truly means.

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines resilience as "the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands." This isn't a fixed trait;
rather, it's influenced by our perspectives, coping mechanisms, and support systems. Encouragingly, research indicates that the skills underpinning resilience can be cultivated and strengthened over time.

To explore practical ways to build this crucial capacity, we turned to our MSBCoach team of experts. Our team offers a comprehensive perspective on building resilience. Their recommendations encompass the scientific understanding of resilience, practical steps for enhancing one's capacity, and frameworks for developing a personalized action plan:

Yosi Kossowsky delves into the science of perception and response:

  • Understand Your Subjective Reality: Recognize that your perceptions shape your reactions to stress. Be aware of potential biases and negative feedback loops.
  • Take Control Through Emotional and Cognitive Techniques: Employ mindfulness, reframing, critical thinking, and a focus on what you can control to manage emotional responses and
    regain rational thought. Question your assumptions and focus on actionable steps to reclaim agency.

Raya Belinsky offers practical starting points:

  • Find Your Anchor: Identify activities or practices that empower you and help you process stress.
  • Acknowledge but Don't Dwell on Stress: When with your team, briefly acknowledge challenges but focus the majority of your energy on moving forward.
  • Foster Optimism and Recognize Efforts: Create space for positive conversations, offer notes of hope, and acknowledge your team's hard work to maintain momentum. 

JoEllen Wilkins stresses the power of focusing inward:

• Control Your Controllables: Recognize that you have more agency than you might think. Often, your mindset and behaviors are within your control.
• Empower Yourself Through Conscious Choices: By consciously managing your reactions, assumptions, communication, and learning, you can make choices you're proud of, leading to a greater sense of empowerment and a different perspective on the situation.

Debby Neely highlights the importance of agency and self-care:

• Focus on Your Sphere of Influence: Identify what you can control or influence, such as how you show up for others. Being present, actively listening, and fostering open communication can significantly impact those around you and boost your own sense of purpose.
• Prioritize Well-being: Intentionally make time for activities that bring you joy, help you decompress, and clear your mind. Remember that you are also personally affected by challenges.
• Take Action to Regain Momentum: When feeling stuck, identify one small, forward-moving step. This could be listing positive aspects, reflecting on your strengths, or connecting with mentors. Small actions build progress.

Cary Campbell emphasizes the power of connection and presence:

• Build a Robust Support Network: Strong relationships with trusted individuals provide invaluable support during stressful times.
• Practice Mindfulness: Focusing on the present moment through mindful breathing, eating, and movement fosters awareness, connection, and calm. Break down overwhelming situations by tackling one small step at a time.

Patty Marbury underscores the transformative nature of mindset:

• Cultivate a Growth Mindset: Embrace the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. This perspective allows you to view setbacks as learning opportunities and steppingstones, rather than reflections of your limitations, especially during uncertain times. www.chiefkramer.com

Donna Pearring emphasizes leadership in challenging times:

• Lead with a Growth Mindset: Model resilience by viewing setbacks as learning opportunities.
• Focus on Controllable Leadership Actions: Even when feeling powerless, leaders can control their behavior, how they support their team, and how they foster open communication and trust. Leading with grace and emotional intelligence (caring for self and others) is key.


Trish Jordan offers a structured exercise and the "Four S's" framework:

• Values-Driven Resilience:
     1. Describe a current challenge.
     2. Identify your reasons for wanting to overcome it.
     3. Connect these reasons to your core values.
     4. Reflect on how these values can guide you through difficult times.
• The Four S's of Past Success: Resilience isn't just about facing new challenges; it's also about remembering how you've navigated difficulties before. Consider a past challenge and identify your:
     o Social Support: Who did you rely on?
     o Coping Strategies: What actions did you take?
     o Sagacity: What wisdom or insights did you gain?
     o Solution-Seeking: What steps did you take to find solutions? Apply these learnings to your current situation.

Jason Schreuder provides actionable strategies for leaders:

• Control Your Controllables, Influence the Rest: Direct your energy towards what you can directly impact (mindset, communication) and influence others through your calm and confident demeanor.
• Reframe Struggle as Fuel: Encourage a mindset that seeks opportunities for growth and learning within challenges. Ask, "What can this teach us?" and "How can we emerge stronger?"
• Anchor in Purpose and Values: Reconnect with your core "why" to provide emotional stability and direction during chaotic times. Share this alignment with your team to foster shared meaning and collective strength.


Resilience is not about avoiding hardship, but about how we navigate it. The insights shared by our MSBCoach team underscore that building this vital capacity is an ongoing process involving self-awareness, conscious choices, strong connections, and a belief in our ability to learn and grow. By embracing these practical strategies, whether you are leading a team or navigating your own career path, you can cultivate the mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility needed to not just survive, but thrive in the face of life's inevitable twists and turns.